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Dear Friend,

I've realised that we are more human than I had thought. We aren't infallible and we are awfully premenstrual as our feelings fluctuate more than the unpredictable climate in the desert. Sometimes hot and passionate when we are at our best as we can set any flammable object aflame with one of the most wonderful friendships I've ever had, sometimes cold when we don't try hard enough and occasionally violent when we are sandstorms.

I will admit that I get angry with you very easily. I do not have all the patience with you as I'd like to have. But believe me when I say this, I do wish I have it. I get that it isn't easy being you. But if you haven't already noticed, everyone has their own problems. But you really really have to know that you don't have to do this alone. Stop trying to do everything when you have nothing left inside you. Depend on God more and less on yourself and always, always seek the will of God before the approval of man. Attempting to do everything with and empty heart and when you've lost focus of what's truly important can destroy you, and I love you too much to see you spiral downwards this way. It isn't easy, I find difficulty in doing it too. But I try to remember. I try very hard. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. But I've learnt to give thanks even when I feel like screaming and drowning in everything I've yet to do.

I think God has shown you that He wants to use you in so many ways. But He needs to see that you are able to be used as a blessing to others by remembering His will. When we answer the call to love everyone, we put aside ourselves which entail our emotions and feelings. We put aside every thought about what we need and feel and think and focus on what others need. We speak in love, even when we have to correct because that is the way God has always given us grace and mercy.

When someone told me that no man is an island, I used to scoff too, I really did. But I think something I've learnt that I hope you will eventually is that to a large extent, that is true. Do not shun help. Embrace it. You cannot do everything alone and sometimes, God uses people to help you when He doesn't speak to you directly. Please understand that I am trying to help and so are other people. If you refuse to let people in and bottle up all emotions, you refuse to be happy. You fail in being the best you can be. Trust me of all people when I say that humbling yourself and letting others help you takes away no pride at all (although I've also learnt that you need to differentiate advice that will make you a better person or stumble your beliefs, though this is not applicable to you).

I say all of this because I love you very much. I am lonely when you are not there for me to refill my tank when I need you. And it diminishes me as well when I run on an empty tank. God has something amazing planned for a beautiful person like yourself. All you have to do is let go and let God.

Love,
Alice